|
Page 1 2 3
Vagina Is Not a Panacea (Though It May Feel Like One)
...The Sequel
by Aaron Kendall
- You: So, how are things?
- Her: Well, the good lord is still listening to prayers...and
my son is such a joy...
- You: Well, that's good...and you?
- Her: Still a hard-working mother and devout Christian.
- You: Hmmm...I see...so, what have you been doing lately?
- Her: Oh, working at the soup kitchen was so busy the other day,
and, right after, my son had to be taken to baseball practice...
- You: No, I mean...what have you been doing in your spare time?
- Her: Well...hmmm...
- You: Let me ask something else...have you changed much over the
past decade? How would you describe yourself now, after having been
"dirty" and "sinful"?
- Her: I'm still a devout Christian...
- You: Okay, throw that out...what else?
- Her: Ummm...a loving mo...
- You: Throw that out, too. Now, who are you?
(Long Pause)
- Her: The loving grandmother of my future grandchildren...
- You: Okay, let's get this straight...no ancestors, no successors,
no deities, no spouses, no church groups/cults, no performance art,
no online chatrooms, no D&D or any other role-playing games. Now,
who are you?
- Her: Uhhh...I don't know. What am I?
- You: An idiot.
- Her: Okay, I can be that. Thanks!
Now, the point of that wasn't to disparage single mothers...though
I don't doubt that there will be a single mother (also lacking a soul)
who will focus on the context of the example, and she'll evade the
presented abstraction. No, the point was to show how easy it is to
gain an identity and not think about yourself. It's so daunting
and intimidating to be somebody on your own...and it's so easy to be
somebody in relation to someone else. And you wanna know why it's
so easy? Because it's not really you! The place for that unique
implementation (which should be an integrated knowledge base about
yourself) is no longer vacant; instead, it's been filled with an
aggregate of "duties" and other "accepted" attributes. You have
gained an identity without actually doing any work, you lucky devil...
in other words, you are now the proud recipient of "ego welfare".
And what do we call people who never try to get a job and would prefer
to always stand in line in order to get a paycheck? That's right:
a fucking bum. So, take this hunk of government cheese and Kool-Aid
and choke on it...I'll be over on the veranda, eating some Taleggio
and enjoying a nice bottle of Merlot...you ass...
Unfortunately, many young girls end up being single mothers because
much like starving actresses, they'll do anything to get a role; the
only difference is the actress only intends to hang onto that
identity until her payday arrives; the other is gonna hold onto it
for dear life, because her very existence depends on it. Yes,
I've finally gotten back to that "r" subject again: romantic
relationships. But this one problem doesn't extend to just girls...
oh, no, this problem is shared between girls and guys. Sure,
many guys usually enter into a relationship for one reason (in
layman's terms, to "get some stink on the hang low")...but, slowly
and surely, the whole thing becomes a little more complicated, and
they soon find themselves having an unexpected "identity"...and,
then, they too are ensnared in their own self-constructed folly. In
the end, both of these men and women find identities in the state of
being completely dependent on one another for support, for decisions,
for validation...for everything.
Of course, if that scenario was a disease and I were the CDC, I'd
only give it a rating of Level 3; those usually involve empty-headed
people who give you the "deer-in-the-headlights" look from behind a
cash register as you attempt to customize your order...I said no
pickles! What's to not fucking understand about that! No, the worst
of them are the ones who acknowledge what they do, who at some point
invested the time to forge his/her own self, who wanted perhaps a truly
passionate affair with someone who contrasted (and yet, did not contradict)
them. But, then, as days went by, as they watched the multitudes of
"mutual slavery" couplings, they began to doubt themselves and the love
of themselves that they held so dear...they became invidious, hating
the smiling fools but yet feeling the nagging desire to become one
of them...And, after that envy has consumed them to the breaking point,
it dawns on them: all I need to do is trade.
Yes, all it takes is a simple trade, where you exchange your identity
for some attention, where you force yourself to laugh at things you
don't find funny, where you find yourself giving the benefit of the
doubt to statements where there is no doubt, where you become that
which you used to mock...and then, those people finally get what they
want. As a good trader, they have gotten something desirable by
giving away what they didn't really want: themselves.
In either case, whether he's the man who has never thought about
the world or whether he's the man who sold the world
(subliminal message - Bowie rules), that person no longer really owns
an identity. But, if you ask me, I would say never let it go and
hold onto it tight. Trust me...it's worth more than anything you
could possibly imagine.
Read part III
|
