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Vagina Is Not a Panacea (Though It May Feel Like One)
...The Sequel
by Aaron Kendall
Now, the field of psychology has been moribund since the
start of it all (mainly due to it being foolishly enamored with shit
like determinism), and one of its greatest failings is when it talks
about the critical subject of "identity". Freud would say that you can
find your identity tucked in the fold of your mother's labia or lodged
somewhere between your father's balls, while Jung would say that a dream
about playing with your parent's crotch means that you want to drive
an ice cream truck for a living...Whatever; I never trusted cokeheads
or the Swiss anyway. Now, the truth is that as an individual who wishes
to control his/her own little section of the universe, it's
healthy for you to want and have an identity, to have a concrete,
unique implementation of the word "I". That's fine and dandy...but
there is a catch. Like everything else man-made in the universe, an
identity has to come from somewhere; it has to be made through a
set of decisions. Am I going to only listen to my favorite music...
or am I going to learn how to start playing it? Do I like the way
I look...and, if not, do I care enough to put on some pants and do
something about it? Is the ice cream truck that I plan to drive
serving those little frogs or those orange-sherbert push-ups? Damn,
those things were tasty...
Anyway, all of those questions lead to decisions, a set of decisions
that someone made. Who made them? That's right, you
made them. Every decision that you make, every part of your identity
should focus on you...especially when it comes to the idea of
relationships. Unfortunately, though, some people do make decisions
about relationships and don't even refer to themselves in first person...
like Jimmy from that one episode of "Seinfeld"...
For example, take your typical, naive, young Southern girl who opens
up the kitchen without any mitts and, lo' and behold, we get a hot
one in the oven; in my native tongue, we call that "fucked and
stuffed". So, being young and with child, she does her duty:
she has the kid, and she prays to that guy upstairs...or is it
That guy upstairs...or is it that guy Upstairs...In any case, let's
say that you have a brief rendezvous with this woman ten years later
and have a brief talk with her...
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