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Vagina Is Not a Panacea (Though It May Feel Like One)
by Aaron Kendall
Of course, if you're someone who happens to have standards (like me), you will eventually learn something which erudition could never prepare you for: having standards can seriously fucking suck at times. Being a man and having these standards, I'd have to say that my roster of friends only covers part of the chalkboard...but, when you apply these standards to the mere idea of romantic interests, there's no need to even pick up the chalk. In fact, you might as well throw it out the fucking window...And, yet, though this might be a cause for depression at times, I'm still happy with my decision. In the end, I have kept the "me" intact. Yes, much like Cage's character, a life like mine may seem "cold" and "incomplete", but one would only think that if there were a gnawing need for a "significant" other. In my case, I have no such need, and I'm happy without any romantic complement to my life. Unfortunately, though, most people can't accept that premise; in fact, they might even start watching you, waiting for the day when you finally "snap" and start dry-humping all of the lawnmowers in your neighborhood.
According to them, my real problem is that I just can't "let go". For example, if a woman for whom I had no respect did happen to give me a blowjob, it wouldn't matter how good she was at it: I would eventually look down and think "There you are, with your big stupid face". And, yes, I would grimace at the thought of her stupidity, even if she's looking straight at me with my cock in her mouth. Is this a problem? I don't think so...especially since she'd just mistake my face for one being intensely happy...All jokes aside, I have never mastered the essential "martial art" move of most men, in which I can conceptually split the vagina from the girl with one precise sweep of my mind. More importantly, though, I never want to learn that move. As "Tears for Fears" once said "...these are the things that I can do without". Of course, they probably never saw a girl naked because they were gay...but that's neither here nor there...
No, I don't think that the problem is with me. Instead, I think that the problem with most people is that there is a general misconception of the value attained by a relationship. Many people would say that the benefits of their particular romance outweigh their costs...but why should it cost anything, beyond a few negligible pennies? (For those of you who are thinking about your expensive escort services, I was speaking metaphorically). Why should a relationship "cost" anything at all? As a man, I can bring you a good example:
Hot Girl: Hey, I have a joke: what did the carrot say to the lettuce? Don't lose your head.
Now, most guys will laugh at this, especially if their girlfriend is the one who said it. Now, let's change the scenario a bit:
Regular Guy: Hey, I have a joke: what did the carrot say to the lettuce? Don't...
At this point, most guys will have punched the guy in the face, smashed his head with an actual head of lettuce, stuck a few carrots in his ass, and thrown him into a wall. Now, what did we learn here? We learned that we have bought "pussy" at the price of "integrity". And why do men and women buy each other at this price? Because, for the most part, the cost is meaningless...because the romance itself becomes an imperative, and most of their arguments begin to start with something like "Pussy is good, so...". And, in becoming an imperative, the idea of losing something truly valuable becomes acceptable. I, on the other hand, refuse to accept the loss of anything truly valuable. Though it may seem strange to most people, I would rather be eccentric than "ass"-centric. I will be that type of person for the rest of my life, and, in case there was any doubt, I fucking guarantee it.
Read part II
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