savethehumans.com Logo
 
 
about us feedback FAQ
  links submissions 
Culture Bashing
  (social commentary)
 

STH Newsletter
Occasional updates, plus bonus idiotic ramblings. (We've never sent more than one e-mail per month.)


Add our headlines to any RSS reader (Google, Bloglines, My Yahoo!, Technorati, etc.) or get the XML/RSS feed:
| XML

Use this code to display the headlines on your website.

Link to us with this:


Go back to: home culture bashing bitching

Page 1 2 3

Spock Needed to Get Laid

by Aaron Kendall

So, let's first start with the whack-jobs. Yes, they can be fun to hang out with at parties, but they're also people that you wouldn't trust a roll of toilet paper with. That's right, I'm talking about the "feelers", who are also known as the people who live by "instincts". As you've noticed by now, I've been putting double-quotes around this word, and I've done so with good reason. Why? Because the idea that people are born with instincts is just the biggest pile of bullshit that I've ever heard in my entire life. Like, when I was born, I didn't run for the ocean because I needed to avoid a seagull that would eat my little body.

Yeah, I'm a human being... NOT A FREAKIN' TURTLE!

When we're babies, we're helpless. And why are we helpless? Because as babies, our minds are blank, and our bodies are sensitive to everything. It's only after time and experience that we develop anything at all. And if you're a "feeler", that anything has most probably been a series of horrible decisions. And the horrible events which "strangely" follow the horrible events. Imagine that, huh?

Anyway, now that I've at least described my first test case, I can now go ahead and diagnose it. You can initially try to approach them and converse about the subject, but I've rarely seen it work with this type of people. When you actually make a point, they claim that you're "playing a logic game", as if the act of presenting facts is somehow mystifying and could be roughly the equivalent of saying "hocus-pocus" and "abracadabra". And, if conversing doesn't work, there's only one thing left which one can do. It's a very simple solution; it merely involves you doing nothing about the situation...and simply getting away from it!

Run away from these people like your ass is on fire!

When someone decides to not use the one thing that gives us an advantage over the monkey at your local zoo, that person has just jumped onto the Butt-Munch Bandwagon, and there's absolutely no way to stop that crazy ride. Don't try to stop the wagon, especially when the wagon is about to smash at maximum velocity into the side of a wall. It's the only way that those assholes will ever learn anything.

Next Page

                


 
© Copyright 1999-2005. All site content copyrighted by the author.
Any other content, including all section and column names, is copyrighted by Jason Roth.
To beg for, uh, request reprint permission, e-mail reprints@savethehumans.com.
All other feedback to: feedback@savethehumans.com