"Yuuuuuck! That's disgusting! Who'd want to do that?" And, later, we'd joke with people who had just had sex, like it was the same thing as taking a shit in your pants. Of course, there's gonna be a few softies in every bunch of kids, and they're not going to take the idea of sex very well. Of course, they're the kids raised by parents who let their kids see the light of day as often as I see my sphincter; the odds are that those kids are gonna be axe murderers anyway.
I am not walking on a thin line for the rest of my life due to the .01 percent chance of shocking one of those kids. Fuck those little bastards.
And not letting children hear swear words...Jesus Christ, I can't think of a more heinous thing to do except taking away video games. Think about it...why do we swear in the first place? That's right, fellow fans of bitching and procrastination: it's to express ourselves. Swears are just words to indicate the severity of the situation and our reaction to it.
Again, who didn't encounter fuckin' swear words by the time that they were eight? And what was the most appealing aspect of it? That we weren't supposed to do it!
(If they had told us not to use our feces as body paint, we would have done it anyway out of spite.) Most importantly, by keeping away swear words, you just keep kids away from really expressing how passionate they are about something. Oh, I forgot...kids don't have emotions! No, when abusive parents beat their kids, they're not really crying because they're upset over the beating - they lost the toy truck. It's just a petty fit, that's all. Hey, and if the kids swear at all (and God help them if they do), let's go get that baseball bat out of the closet and tattoo their fuckin' heads as those little noggins travel over the wall and outside the ballpark! I tell you, there's nothing worse than children telling you how they feel!
So, go ahead and be a stereotypical set of parents, and blindly agree with the authorities who tell you how to raise children. Sit together at dinner and speak without being expressive. Don't expose images of sexuality to your children. Handle them like a set of fine china. Hey, they'll just learn everything about the world from somebody else, like how to assemble firearms, build bombs, and launch an assault on homeroom class with a fully-armed mobile unit. Thanks, stoic parents. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it: you've done less than enough.
